Reminiscence the Birth of Dhiya Zahra

Even though my dear daughter is almost 3 now, i'm inspired to write my experience birthing her some while ago. it was a natural birth without me knowing anything about gentle birth. well, there are a few things that are not normal actually but overall I'm quite satisfied with the experience. hoping my second time turns out better than this..

I was warded under 'false labour' at 38 weeks. i thought it was the real thing. had check up at local Klinik Desa and told the nurse the contractions i was having. she then referred me to GH immediately. so then i went to GH and never thought that i was going to be warded. the doctor did a Vaginal Examination (VE) and found out that i was only 1 cm dilated but still insisted that i be warded.

To be honest, i had such a bad experience in GH. my bed n 3rd class was actually an extra bed that they just add to the walkway of the maternity ward. i was extremely not comfortable. my bed was actually touching the bed beside me and i could not even move the curtain because the beds were extremely close! also, hearing other mommies cried and moaned in pain scared me a lot.

After Maghrib, the nurse told me that there was a vacant bed in the 2nd class ward n i was moved there. the environment was a bit better there and i could relax a bit.

My husband who was teaching in a rural area in Sabah was on the way to his school at that time. he was in KLIA waiting for his flight to Kota Kinabalu. he did not take the flight but took the one heading to K Trg instead and arrived at about 11 pm. he went straight to the hospital to see me. Unfortunately, the female guard was very angry that my hubby would came to see me that late. she at last allowed my hubby to visit me but ONLY with her presence between us! she could hear everything that we said! she surely would not give us the privacy that we needed. i only met my hubby for a bout 5 mins and spent the whole night by myself, scared and wanting to go home badly.

The next day, i was allowed to go back home since i wasn't making any progress. was so happy that time. we then make the decision not to deliver in GH but instead tried to survey other birthing centres in town.

We decided to birth at Klinik Rawatan Keluarga. we had an appointment with Dr. Wan, and discussed ways to kick start my labour since my hubby is already in town and of course i wanted him to be there when im in labour! she then stripped my membrane (boy, it hurt soooo bad!!) to speed things up. the day after, i had my 'bloody show', my mucus plug dislodged itself when i was in the bathroom.

A few days later, labour did not start. we decided to take a walk on the beach, walk around my parent's house (20 rounds of walking on 1/4 acres of land!) till i was really exhausted and cannot walk no more. that midnight, i began to start having strong surges (contraction) while doing nipple stimulation. they were around 5 minutes apart with every surges lasted about a minute each. at first, i didn't want to wake my hubby up. i handled the contractions myself for about 2 hours until we decided to call the birthing centre. the birthing centre asked us to come immediately. i postponed for 2 more hours until it was around 4am in the morning.

once there, the dr did a VE and told me that i was only 3cm dilated. i was kinda dissapointed. furthermore, a nurse told me that it would take me a long time to deliver. maybe around noon. great. just the encouragement i needed.

i remember how i control each contraction without tensing my muscle. i was trying to relax even though i didn't know a thing about gentle birth at this time. but i do understand the principle that the more tense your muscles are, the more harder it is for your uterus to dilate, and i was right :)

at around 5.30 am, i was having really painful contractions. my mom asked the doctor to do a VE again to check how i was progressing. turns out i was 5 cm dilated. that's quite fast for a 1st time mom like me! the doctor then broke my water to further speed things up. i was then sent again to my room. at around 7am, i was admitted to the labour room n was 8 cm dilated. i felt the sensation to push but the dr asked me to hold back n wait for 10cm dilation. that was so unbearable to me because the urge to push was soo strong. the dr didn't perform episiotomy on me. i remember asking her about it but she said KKM did not encourage private birthing centre to perform it. i was a bit scared to tear naturally but now, im soo glad she didn't do it!

at last, i was 10cm dilated n beginning to push. hubby was so great n encouraging. he was my hero at that time. i mostly listen to his soothing voice. i didnt pinch or did any bodily harm to him since i was trying to not tense my muscle. i pushed just as how the doctor instructed me. my energy was kinda low at that time. it took me about 4-5 push (i think) to get Zahra out. i even cried out spontaneously once.

Alhamdulillah, Dhiya Zahra was born naturally without drugs or episiotomy, healthy n full of hair. actually that was my first question - baby ada rambut tak? LOL. i dunno y i was so concern on having a girl with lots of hair :p. the doctor cut the cord almost immediately after showing the baby to me. i had 3 minor stitches and the dr stiched me up in no time. i birthed my placenta with no problem a few minutes later. my baby was then be bought to the scale, a bath and a formula feeding before being handed to me. it was a pleasurable birth and i would be happy to experience it again.

Dhiya Zahra, fresh from my womb

after bath

although i love my birthing experience and would not complain much, here is the list of what i would like to improve this time around:

- No stripping of membrane
- No artificial rupture of membrane
- No coach pushing but breathing down the baby instead
- To be allowed to experiment on different birthing position that feels right for me
- To allowed baby to skin-to-skin contact and latch on instantly
- No formula feeding (unless i don't produce any breast milk yet)
- Delayed cord clamping until it stop pulsating

Cant belive my little girl has grown up to be so big now! i LOVE u so much Zahra.

Zahra's attempt to bearwear. LOL